Never Again
by Princess Dystopia
Summary: Many things have changed since Eiri's return from New York, but now that Shuichi must leave for the United States, he reflects on his feelings and past regrets. EirixShuichi one-shot.


**So~ I recently watched this entire anime in one day and fell in love with it. :D This is my first Gravitation fic, so hopefully its an enjoyable one! **

**Review and tell me what you think!**

* * *

><p>In a way, I suppose you could say I'm jealous of <em>Bad Luck<em>. Looking over Shuichi's small frame, I come to the sudden realization of just how long this live tour will take. Four months. The kid will be in the United States for four months, away from me.

I sigh just quietly enough to keep him asleep. However, I'm sure he wouldn't even hear me over his own snoring.

Shuichi shifts his position suddenly. He rolls onto his side facing me, curling into a shape that fits my figure. His hot breath on my bare chest causes me to shiver.

"Yuki," he whispers softly, his fingers automatically twitching. I slide my larger hand into his palm and the trembling instantly stops. My lips form into a frown as I think back to when the news first came up.

/\

"_Yuki! Yuuuuuukiiiiiiiii!"_

_The door to my office slams open due to Shuichi's forceful kick. The various types of books settled on the bookshelf behind me shutter to the point where I fear they may fall from their home._

"_What did I tell you about bothering me while I'm writing?" I mutter, closing my laptop and snuffing out a cigarette in the ashtray._

_An eager body scurries to my side and I can tell he has something more-than-important to tell me. He waits a few seconds…minutes…before finally exploding in a jumble of words._

_I groan and grip his tiny wrist, pulling him down on me. His lips crash against mine, thankfully shutting him up long enough to inhale through his nose. Somehow, he manages to crawl onto my lap, locking me in a straddling position._

"_Say that again," I tell him, draping my arms around his waist. "Slowly."_

_Shuichi's mouth stretches into a wide grin and he swats a stray hair from my face. "Bad Luck is leaving in three weeks to start our tour in the United States. This is a huge deal for us! I mean, this is going to be our largest tour yet, and in a different country! But the only downside is that we'll be gone for four months, so I'll be sure to make you dinner and put it in sealed packages so it won't go bad and you won't go hungry while I'm gone…"_

_He keeps rambling on and on, but my mind stopped working after "four months."_

_I try to imagine the apartment without Shuichi for four months. The bed won't be made every morning, the dishes will pile up in the sink, and the carpet won't be vacuumed. More importantly, there won't be a smaller body next to mine in that bed._

_Without realizing it, my arms slide from his body and rest at my sides._

"…_I'll be sure to write every da- Yuki? Is something the matter?" As expected, Shuichi throws himself into a frenzy. "Are you sick? Oh, crap! Maybe I shouldn't leave!" He presses his lips to my forehead. "You aren't running a fever…"_

_I shake my head, indirectly pushing his lips away from me. "No, I'm fine," I lie, securing my arms around him again. I lean into his chest, taking in his…our scent. "I'm happy for you."_

/\

My stomach twists uncomfortably and I consider taking a trip outside for a cigarette, but ultimately decide against it. Shuichi is leaving in the morning, so my mind is set on spending as much time with him as possible, even if he did pass out three hours ago.

It just doesn't seem fair, having to give him up not long after getting him back. It has only been two months since the spastic brat caught up to me in New York. Damn, he's one who just never gives up, no matter what I put him through.

"_Bad Luck_, a popular local band, will be leaving first thing tomorrow morning for their first out-of-country tour-"

I rush to grab the remote and turn off the late-night news. I don't want another reminder of something I'm not looking forward to.

Silence (excluding the snoring) surrounds the two of us. Shuichi nuzzles himself closer to me, seeming to seek some sort of shelter of comfort. That thought forms a cynical smirk on my face.

Me? Shelter of comfort? I make myself laugh.

Living with him, having him so close, since my return back from New York opened my eyes to many things: how much better my writing turns out when he's serving as a constant distraction, how less I've been smoking, and how much I regret so many things that occurred since I met him.

Truly, I was stupid. I thought leaving him would be the best thing for the both of us. Besides, the two of us had reputations to keep up. His as the vocalist for the one of the most popular bands to hit Japan in the past decade, and mine as a famous author.

My mind was dead-set on the disappointment the media would deliver our fans, telling them we were homosexual and in a relationship with each other. I feared the hate-mail, the sneers on the streets, and the beatings (both mental and physical) that Suichi would receive.

Oddly enough, although I tried to protect him from the beatings, he still suffered from them. _I _was the one to deliver the mental part. The physical? Well…

I grit my teeth together and release Shuichi's hand, snaking it up his bare back. He involuntarily shivers, but doesn't move any further than that. The very thought of what had happened to him sends rage all through my body. I know I can't do anything about it now. That was left in the past, as he told me.

/\

_My heart beats painfully in my chest as I approach the glass doors to the apartment I'd left to Shuichi when I departed for New York. Although my mind seems to be clearer after visiting Kitazawa's grave, I'm not sure what to expect from my ex-lover._

_Or current lover. I'm not sure about that either. In fact, there are a few things I'm not sure about._

_My pointer finger rests on the doorbell, centimeters away from forcing it to chime. Its very late and Suichi could possibly be asleep by now. Maybe I should just wait until morni-_

_The door swings open and a person latches onto me. Not just any person. _

"_Yuki…" Shuichi's arms are fastened around my neck and his face is buried into my chest. "You're back."_

_I stand completely still, not voluntarily, but because of shock. His body trembles and at first, I suspect its because of the cold air around us. Seconds later, I feel a warm damp sensation through my jacket. _

"_Don't cry…Shuichi," I whisper. That's all I can say? Damn it, Eiri, you're a romance author, for hell's sake. Think of something more comforting._

_However, I can't. For days, I had been stressing myself out over this single moment, not knowing what to expect. The worst always filled my mind. That being, Shuichi would spit in my face, shout vulgar things, and slam the door. That was the only result that made sense, after everything I put him through. But this was the exact opposite._

"_You're back," he repeats, his voice cracking half-way through. _

"_I am," I tell him._

"_Don't ever leave me like that again," he mumbles against me, "you stupid brat."_

_My held-in breath is finally released. I wrap my arms tightly around him, pulling him closer to me. I know his bare feet are freezing against the concrete, so I don't mind that he steps onto my shoes._

"_Never again," I reassure him. "I promise."_

/\

I reach over and turn out the light on the nearby nightstand. Shuichi sighs heavily and his snoring stops. I roll onto my back and stare at the darkness between myself and the ceiling.

"You aren't asleep yet?" a sleepy voice questions as a solid object places itself on my chest. A warm hand glides over my stomach and I close my eyes.

"Go back to sleep, Shuichi. You have a busy day starting in a few hours," I reply, running my hand through his messy hair and trying to ignore the feeling of lips against my neck and jaw line.

"I can't," he tells me. "I guess I'm just worried."

I know exactly why he says that and I don't blame him. I lean down, pressing my lips to the top of his head. His hair smells like mine.

"Don't be. Everything will be exactly the same when you get back."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Not long after, Shuichi is once again asleep. Although I can't see him through the darkness, I'm pretty sure he's drooling on my chest. I don't mind.

Four months is a long time to be without the one you love, but Shuichi was patient with me for so long. I will miss him, his touch, and his stupid little quirks that annoy me at times.

But when he gets back, I'll be the one to open the doors to him and welcome him back with loving arms.


End file.
